Tired Today

I woke up very tired this morning. I watched Christian get ready for school and just laid on the couch with my bath robe wrapped around me for warmth and watched the news. It was 34 degrees this morning with lots of fog. I took Christian to school, got home at a few minutes till nine, and ironed Joe's work shirt. Then I went to the store to pick up some things to make dinner tonight, it's a new recipe I found a blog that I follow. I will post a link to the blog later. I checked Facebook and Cafemom really quickly, then sat down to do some brainstorming for NaNoWriMo. I have three chapters brainstormed and I will try to get back on track with my Zarya story later this afternoon.

Fullofrandompicturesandstuffblog

I'm going to try to make the blog a little more personal. Still will keep you updated on my writing, post my prompts, and what not, but I want my blog to be more about getting to know me and my life.

NaNoWriMo Update

23,988 words! It is the first time all month that I have been over the suggested daily word count. Now I feel like it is totally within my grasp. I just need to brainstorm some plot points. I have done absolutely NO brainstorming so far and I feel like that is probably what is holding me back.

NaNoWriMo Update

I am working on my Zarya story again today after writing 5000+ words last night. My brain was fried so I went to bed and I'm determined to get on track today.

Starting Count: 19,354
Goal Total: 3,980

NaNoWriMo

I'm listening to the Pens game right now and going to try to work on NaNoWriMo while listening to the third period. I really need to get motivated. I may be up for a while tonight trying to get caught up. I need another 7230 to be on track to finishing on time.

Wish me luck!!

Crazy Cat Lady

Okay, I hate it when people overpopulate their home with animals. I mean, when the health of you and your animals starts to come into question, then you have too many.

But, I hate to see strays, especially when it's cold and rainy. It seems to be a growing problem in our area, that people move, don't want to take their cats, and so they just leave them behind. That of course just perpetuates the problem because cats breed like crazy. Well, anyways, what I generally do is put out a little cat food and let them get used to me going into the house, coming out of the house. When they've reached the point where they don't go running when the door opens, I try to get them comfortable with letting me pet them. I keep feeding them, because, well, I'm too soft hearted to see a hungry little cat and not stick a dish of food out there.

Anyways, once they get comfortable enough to let me pet them, I put them in animal carriers and take them to Animal Control. I hate the thought of them being put to sleep, but if there is a chance they can be adopted, at least it is better than doing nothing to help control the problem.

But there is one cat that comes to our porch that I'm loving a little more each day. She was very skittish around people. Any little noise would send her running from the porch. I thought she had a home, because she is wearing a flea collar, but she's been around her for a few weeks and no one has claimed her. She is so lovable though! Now that she is comfortable with us coming in and out of the house, and the noise of the doors, she is much less frightened. I have even put a basket out on the porch with a blanket in it so she has a semi-warm place to sleep. She loves it.

We have been calling her Evelyn, and I have a feeling that if I don't find a home for her soon, I will be adopting her as my own, even though I have been opposed to having more than one cat in the house. I just love this little cat and I don't want to take her to the shelter and risk her being put to sleep. If I can find a good home for her, I will gladly give her away. If not, I have a feeling our family will increase by one before the first snow.

Say hello to Evelyn ...

Making Clay

(Prompt taken from Room to Write by Bonni Goldberg)

PROMPT: To practice making clay, today start with the word game and dive in for three pages. You don't have to write in complete sentences. When you are done, read over what you have written. Highlight any phrases or passages you like and save them for a poem or a scene in a story. You may not like anything you wrote. Don't let that stop you from trying this study and several times over using different words. You will find gems in many of the pages you write this way, but never in every one. Trust me; if you continue to use this technique, you will find it invaluable.

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"I might write four lines or I might write twenty. I subtract and I add until I really hit something. You don't always whittle down, sometimes you whittle up." ~~ Grace Paley
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Life
Life is an evolution toward death. It is all the happiness, all the sadness, all the pain, all the good you will ever feel. Every hope and broken dream makes you who you are. Don't forget to grow up but remember who you were. Never lose the child in your heart. Life can throw a curveball you never saw coming. But it is a beautiful, crazy, forever worth it kinda frustration.

Life is about making mistakes, learning from every experience. All those school girl crushes and broken hearts define who we are as human beings. Each choice defines who we will become.

Life is always too short, even if you live a hundred years. There will always be something to see, something to do, a place you always wanted to go. Live it to the fullest, cherish every memory because it is over far sooner than we imagine.

Part of life is death. The death of others, loved ones, friends, neighbors, people you barely know. Losing someone is difficult, it so suddenly and completely reminds us of our own mortality and how quickly it can all be gone. Should we be sad in death? When we lose someone we love should it be so difficult to let them go?

And then what would be the meaning of life? Is it more than just living to die? More than procreation and working day in and day out? Is there some cosmic soul searching question we have to answer after death? There must be something more meaningful than just life. What is it all for?

Watching my son grow up and mature feels like what life should be about. Watching him learn something new or discovering a new favorite band, loving, caring, providing for and cultivating the life of another person feels worth it to continue through the daily grind, the upper lower class sludge, the monotony of day to day life.

I have often wondered what life is like in other parts of the world. Where would I be if I had been born in another country? Would I be a wannabe writer in Spain? Italy? France? Greece? Russia? What is life like there? I have always wanted to visit Italy and Ireland. I think writing there would be an ethereal experience.

Sometimes I wonder if life is some cosmic dream. Do we wake up to some otherworldly virtual reality game and then go take a test to see if we were paying attention? I don't know how some would fare, but I am a pretty decent test taker, and I feel I had to mature far earlier than most of my age appropriate counterparts.

Guess what I have never done in my life ... taken a road trip, had a girls weekend away, gotten drunk, went to a bar to go dancing, learned another language, gotten a passport, been on a plane, been to a NHL game, wore a wedding ring, been on a honeymoon, taken a family vacation, bought a new wardrobe, gone for a test drive in a brand new car, seen a Broadway show, bought myself something expensive just because I wanted it, danced in the rain, taken a long drive to nowhere just because.

There is so much I want to do in this life. I wish I could say that someday they will all be realized, but I am not that naive. As I've said before, when one dream is realized, another will be imagined.

My number one dream in life would be to officially relocate to Pittsburgh

Fabulous Friday

Well, I was looking forward all day to going out for dinner and drinks with my three best friends from my middle school/high school days. It had been probably twelve years since we'd seen each other and have been trying to reconnect, about once a month for a girl's night out.

So I've been running around the house all day with curlers in my hair, waiting until the last possible second to do my makeup and thrown my clothes and I send out a text message asking if everyone is still gonna make it on time and then Britteny sends me a text message back that it's next Friday. (LOL)

So I'm all dressed up, makeup-ed, and have no place to go. I don't have any margarita mix left in the house either and the Pens play Tampa Bay tonight. I should have asked Joe to bring some home. Last year the Pens lose every time I drink ... this year, well they've won both times I've had a drink.

And while we're on the subject of hockey, let me just say that I've been reading certain fan based blogs and I'm so disappointed with the fans that post comments there. Everyone wants to come down on the team for starting off poorly. Everyone wants to trade Fleury, trade Michalek, trade Comerie, fire Bylsma ... oh and did I mention trade Fleury?

Now of course I can't speak for the entire population of Penguins fans. I joined the blog site in question because there was a wealth of people who knew their hockey and I loved reading their comments about trades, prospects, what the team needed to improve, where the team was absolutely lethal. But it seems the site has been taken over by the popularly phrased "bridge jumpers". Whatever happened to supporting a team through the good and the bad? Whatever happened to rallying behind the team and being that "sixth man" on the ice? The CEC sounds so quiet on television and it makes me wonder if people are there watching hockey or if Mario and company still have everyone wetting themselves with the new sights the CEC has to offer.

All I do know, is that win or lose, I am a Penguins fan. Whether we make it to the playoffs or rank dead last in the league, I will watch as many games as I can, and root my guys on, even if we've blown a 2-4 lead in the third and lose 7-4.

Piece by Piece

(Prompt taken from Room to Write by Bonni Goldberg)

PROMPT: Today start writing with no thought about what form the material will take. Or, select material you already have and try it out in another form. Pick from short story, poem, essay, performance monologue, creative nonfiction, children's story.

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"You know, you don't always have a choice of what you're going to write. You're not a cow that can give cream with one udder and milk with another." ~~ Bruce Duffy
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I saw an open window and wondered what it would be like to jump.

Jump down and fall above where I've been. Maybe even touch my toes to my chin. Like a child in a crib, playing alone, again. But people like me aren't lucky enough to win.

I walked along a broken bridge until the ground crumbled under foot.

If I'd stayed behind I never would have found this place of forgotten times and melodic sound. Through long forgotten paths that twisted and wound. My heart and soul to a place to be forever bound.

I stopped swimming in the middle of the coldest spot in a lake.

Let the water gurgle up around me as I sank. Tasted the water on my lips like a misbegotten prank. Watched the billowing air rise above like a fish in a tank. Forgot for a moment that the world had a shore and a bank.

Looked in the mirror for the first time and wasn't sad to see me.

A woman staring back who had lived a life. Happiness was there and the lessons were rife. Too old to be a woman, still too young to be a wife. The truth was glaring back like tears on the blade of a knife.

SNOT

(A prompt taken from Room to Write by Bonni Goldberg)

PROMPT: For a minimum of one full page, write about snot. Afterward, consider how you felt before you began, as you wrote, and once you were finished. Record your responses. Check if any material emerged that you could incorporate into a piece you are working on. Or, list other unmentionable topics your could explore as you write.

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"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm." ~~ Colette
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How many times must I blow my nose? I'm sure this cold will last forever and just in time for my global presentation to the board and our subsidiaries. I grabbed a tissue from my purse and felt the thickly sticky substance on my fingers. Gross!

I was pretty sure I'd expelled more than my fair share of snot for one lifetime. I couldn't toss the snotted tissue in a receptacle. I was on the subway, but that didn't stop my urgent need to blow my nose. I shoved the tissue into my pocket and dug through my purse for a snot-less tissue. It was a futile effort. Was it sanitary to reuse a tissue? I mean it wasn't like it was someone else's snotty tissue. There was little else I could do. I already felt the lingering, slowly running drip of snot. From the way the woman across from me was glaring, I probably had a booger rolling down too, like a boulder in an avalanche.

I reused my tissue and couldn't help a quick glance down at it. Okay, that was even more gross. The once clear snot was now a sickly green. Great! That meant time off from work if I picked up anymore symptoms.

The train stopped at my station and I hurried out of the car, up the stairs, and onto the street. Every few seconds I sucked the snot back into my nostrils and thanked my lucky stars when my building was in sight. Hands in my pocket, I made a mental note to throw away all my gross tissues when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I spun around and Larry, my boss, was juggling a few drink carriers with hot coffee.

"Help me out, Jen," he said, and I reached for two of the carriers. I followed him into the building and onto the elevator, up to the seventeenth floor, and to the conference room that was already full of my colleagues. I passed out the drinks in my carriers and shrugged my coat off into my chair.

"Uh, Jen, I think this belongs to you," Larry said, handing me a Styrofoam cup. A sticky green covered tissued was attached to the lid and I felt my face flush red hot as another drip of snot betrayed my nasal passages.